Story by Gabe Thumm
One front door is marked by a chalk sign that reads, “Happy Fall Y’all!”
Another holds a wreath of red and orange leaves.
Tracey Tuggle often travels between these homes, though neither is her own. The first belongs to her daughter, who has four children. The other is her parents’.
Tuggle is a part of the “club sandwich generation,” or population of adults helping care for three generations of relatives at the same time. In her case, these are her parents, children and grandchildren.
“My car is always full of stuff,” Tuggle said as she jammed a blue dreamcatcher-printed grocery bag into her trunk, alongside a cardboard box, a trashbag, a purse and two other grocery bags. One of her roles for both households is running errands.
With her grandchildren, she assists with homeschooling, cooking, cleaning and childcare. With her parents, she cleans the house, takes them to appointments and helps with bathing.
“I’m the fix-it person,” she said.
By noon, Tuggle had already taken her grandchildren to the park for a nature walk, cooked hot dogs on the grill and pushed them on the swings.
“She loves to do anything for her grandkids, which is really special,” said her granddaughter Michaela Miller.
Tuggle ventured from her daughter’s house to her parents’, where pictures of family members line the mantle, end tables and every wall.
“It’s just great, she’s in and out of here most days,” said Mable Eaton, Tuggle’s mother.
While Eaton uses a walker, Tuggle assists her in maneuvering around the house and bathing.
“We have a little routine, and she does it really fast,” Eaton said with a laugh.
A study by Erin Kent, associate chair for research in health policy and management at the UNC-Chapel Hill Gillings School of Global Public Health, documented that many people caring for more than one person “voiced struggles with time management and vigilance needed to provide care for their loved one.”
Kent said that these struggles manifest due to situations that require immediacy.
“A parent and kids and grandkids, those are different life rhythms and patterns, right?” she said. “So, some really small children need care constantly. Someone who’s older (adult children) may or may not need care constantly, might be a little bit more predictable.”
She also said that caring for elderly adults may be unpredictable, and managing each of those patterns can also be overwhelming.
Kent said that oftentimes, those who give care don’t resonate with the term “caregiver.”
“They may consider themselves a mother or a wife or a father or an uncle or a neighbor or a friend,” she said.
In many studies, “caregiver” has become a term of convenience, but when asking questions, researchers use activity-first language.
“We might say, ‘do you provide support to,’ or ‘do you assist,’ or ‘you care for someone who has a serious health problem, an illness or disability,’” Kent said.
The Administration for Community Living published the National Strategy to Support Family Caregivers in 2022. It was developed jointly by advisory councils created by the RAISE Family Caregiving Act and the Supporting Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Act.
It consists of intended outcomes, nearly 350 actions taken by 15 federal agencies and more than 150 actions states, communities and others could take.
“The goal is always to provide support that meets the needs of the individual receiving it—as defined by that person—and to allow the individual receiving care to maintain autonomy, independence, and quality of life,” the report states.
The strategy presented five goals: increasing awareness of and outreach, advancing partnerships and engagement, strengthening services and supports, ensuring financial and workplace security and expanding data, research and evidence-based practices to support family caregivers.
Kent said she has seen and heard from caregivers who have reported delaying or foregoing their own health care needs in service of being a caregiver.
“Things like going to the dentist or getting vaccines or exercising can be put by the wayside in order to be a caregiver, which is somewhat paradoxical, if you think about it,” she said.
The strategy also outlines how state actors can aid in each goal. Under spreading awareness, it states that state governors or local leaders can use tools of office to highlight the value that family caregivers bring, with proclamations and media attention during National Family Caregiver Awareness month every November.
Tuggle said assisting with her family takes a toll, but she still finds time to squeeze activities in to maintain her life.
“I volunteer on Tuesdays, so I like to keep that, and I like to be able to still do things with my friends and go out for breakfast or coffee,” she said.
Tuggle also said she appreciates that her parents live independently, and they’ll stay out of assisted living homes as long as they can. While many of her friends have parents who have
passed or are in assisted living homes, Tuggle said she would rather bring people in to help than move her parents elsewhere.
“I’m teaching my granddaughters how to clean their (great-grandparents’) house,” she said. “I bring them over with me, and they do the mopping, the dusting, the vacuuming.”
Brynne Miller, Tuggle’s daughter, said she has lived close to her parents since she and her husband started having kids.
“My husband valued that we had grandparents really close because it does take a village,” she said.
Her kids are involved with swimming, soccer, theater and art, all on top of homeschooling.
“Having an extra pair of hands, and also someone else to be hands-on and teaching my kids is hugely important to my husband and I as we raise our kids,” she said.
As “a mother of daughters,” Tuggle said she values a deeper connection with her family. After straightening two houses, running errands and driving to appointments, rehearsals and outings, she packs her red Kia Sorento to the brim.
“So that’s my day,” she said with a laugh. “And then I go home and collapse.”
